The words run through my brain like a sword through a man’s heart.
Not again I think as more dreams are dashed to the floor.
One step at a time I think.
Breathe in Breathe out.
Images of a day never to be had flash past my eyes.
Tears blur my vision.
As my wails build up inside.
How do I reconcile my expectations being tossed aside?
How does life carry on when there is such a huge wound inside?
Shuffling my deck quickly.
I get the Nine of Swords.
I journey into it quickly to hear it’s thoughts.
The sad eyes on the card mirror mine filled with tears.
The Swords poke me as do each shattered dream and my flowing tears.
Don’t cry says the card all will be well.
Adjust your expectations.
You’re creating hell all by yourself.
It’s the end of a journey there’s not much more to come.
The will of others clashes against your own.
There’s a choice to be made: which will you choose?
Only your dreams or the dreams of others too standing before you.
You decide how you live each day.
This feels to me like a soothing balm for my thoughts.
I affirm to myself the message of this card.
I get to choose my reaction to what bothers me and what does not.
With each breath I try to affirm this prayer.
I remember that soon it will pass with only these bittersweet feelings left in my heart.