I have a long complicated relationship with the Thoth Deck. When I came to the Tarot I heard about the Thoth (who doesn’t) and I knew immediately that the deck wasn’t for me (at that time), there was something just too scary about it . So I stayed away. My early journey consisted of working with the Rider–Waite Tarot and decks inspired by it. I learned a lot about decks, readings and myself by reading with these decks. The thought of the Thoth never left me though and I remained on the border of curiosity and fright. What would happen if I would take the next step?
Sometime last year I finally found the courage and space in my life to take the next step with this deck (well the first step actually). I found a teacher who I knew could support me and decided to give working with the deck a go. At some level I knew that if I dared I would gain something. The first time I held the Thoth, shuffled it and let the symbols work with me, I was blown away. The messages were so clear, unvarnished and at a level so supportive and beautiful. I was filled with beauty and wonder. My work with the Thoth consisted (among other things) of mostly doing a lot readings, for myself on topics such as my career, my relationships and anything else on my mind. This helped me forge an even more close and tight bond with this deck.
The Thoth has a “lot” of symbolism (really, it can get super complicated). Delving into these symbols at once felt challenging and interesting but also kind of pointless. I felt like I would never be able to hold all the connections in my brain and whip them out effortlessly. I am definitely not an authority on the Qabalah whose symbolism the Thoth carries in spades . The challenge for me was learning how to integrate these symbols and other systems with my experience of the cards, my intuition and my spontaneous reactions all of which are the most valuable and precious things I bring to a reading. This is a tough task, and slowly over the last year I have begun to integrate them; giving precedence to my experience and then any theoretical connections that come for me.
The Thoth for me is like a powerful motorbike. I must sit astride it and learn to control it with my will (Crowley would be proud), I must also let it take me where it does, being open to what it says to me. I use the Thoth mainly for my personal readings, journeys, meditation or anything else I choose. I tend to do that because I want to hear things “straight” (Yeah, I’m that kind of gal) and the Thoth gives me the clarity and support to see clearly. I also use the Thoth in email readings. It cuts to the chase and can yield rich material that the person can reflect on later.
This love letter is incomplete without saying that Thoth makes me appreciate my other decks. It makes me trust myself and open to hearing things. Also, as an art lover the images take my breath away.
Enough said. I am always in awe and gratitude of this magnificent deck.